Now that you’ve spent some time with your beautiful Asian woman, you’re starting to think she might be the one.  Your friends probably warned you about how complicated dating Asian girls could be, but you and your girlfriend encountered none of those issues, or overcame them easily.

Then one day, your girlfriend asks you to meet her parents.  Your mind starts racing at the thought and you start to panic.  Horror stories and urban legends of harsh Asian parents abound.  While there may or may not be a kernel of truth to them, the reality is that Asian parents are very much like any other parent who have high hopes for their children, especially when it comes to whom they may marry.

Asian parents have a reputation for being authoritarian, rigid, and focused on money.  You might be surprised to find that many Asian parents, while they may have some of these qualities, they are simply looking out for the best interests of their children.  As long as you prepare yourself, put your best foot forward, and know how to reassure them their daughter hasn’t fallen for a deadbeat, everything will go well. Here are some things to keep in mind:

First impression – Your will be judged on how you present yourself, so be sure to dress well.  Let your woman guide you on this.  If you’ll be meeting them at a formal event, anything less than a quality, tailored suit and tie will be the end of you (figuratively speaking).  For a more casual event, choose a dress shirt and slacks.  Either way, your hair should be neatly trimmed.

Career – Asian parents typically want their daughters to marry a man with a high-paying career, preferably a doctor, dentist, engineer, lawyer, or banker.  If you’re not one of these, all is not lost.  Focus on your ambitions and make sure they understand that you have a legitimate career that will allow you to provide for their daughter a life at least as good as the way she grew up.

Respect – You want to project an air of humble confidence.  Be aware that you may find yourself meeting the entire extended family.  Be sure to show respect to everyone present.  I’m sure I don’t have to tell you not to drink too much, talk too loud, be rude to anyone, or do anything else that would give the impression that you are anything but the perfect man for their little girl.

Eating – Meals are a central part of Asian culture.  If your girlfriend’s mother prepares a meal, be sure to try a few bites of everything that is offered.  You want to impress both of her parents, but her mother is the one who can destroy your relationship before it goes any further.  Be sure to compliment her cooking and thank her for the time and effort she put into it.  After the meal, offer to help with the cleanup.  She will probably refuse, but it will impress her.  Traditionally, the man is the head of the Asian household, but it’s the mother who holds the real power, so impressing your girlfriend’s mother is vital.

These rules hold whether you’re meeting your girl’s parents for the first time or the 31st.  Impressing them is not a one time thing, you need to keep impressing them.  It seems difficult, but keep your head on straight and be respectful and you’ll be fine.

Do you have any helpful advice for how to impress the parents of an Asian woman?


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